A journal of the wedding arts
Volume one · the journal
Considered writing on dress, ritual, table, and the quiet architecture of a day worth remembering.
If you are asking how long should a first dance be, here is the answer I give at the table. For most couples I plan, the dance itself lands near two to three minutes. That is a soft range, not a rule, and two minutes and ten seconds is not a failure.
From the atelier
When the last song ends, I watch what guests hold in their hands on the way out. Sometimes it is a small treat they will finish in the car. Sometimes it is nothing but a warm evening and a coat they finally remember. The short answer first. No, you do not need wedding favors. Are wedding favors necessary? Are they required? Do you really need them, or do you have to have them, or give them? Completely optional.
When couples ask me whether they need wedding programs, they usually think they are deciding about paper. They are not. They are deciding how guests settle into the ceremony: with a quiet map in hand, or trusting the room to explain itself. The short answer first. No, you do not have to have wedding programs. Are wedding programs necessary? Not at all. Do you really need them, or do you have to have them? Completely optional.
When couples ask me for unity ceremony ideas, they usually think they need a cute list. What they really need is a pacing decision. A unity ritual sits in the middle of your ceremony and asks guests to watch two people become one in a small, visible way. Done well, it feels like architecture: a quiet beat that deepens the vows without stalling the room. Done poorly, it feels like an interruption with props.
When couples ask me about escort cards vs place cards, they usually think they are shopping stationery. They are not. They are deciding how guests walk into the reception: with a calm table number in hand, or hunting for a name at every setting. The short answer is simple. Escort cards assign a table at the door. Place cards assign an exact seat at the setting. That difference quietly shapes formality, meal service, and whether your entrance feels gracious or chaotic.
If you are asking how long should a wedding ceremony be, you are really asking how the quietest part of the day should hold everyone's attention. Ceremony length is day architecture. It sets the mood, protects guest comfort, and decides how smoothly you hand people into cocktail hour. Get it roughly right and the rest of the timeline feels kinder. Get it wrong and even a beautiful reception starts on the back foot.
