10 Funny Wedding Quotes That Will Have You Laughing Down the Aisle

If you're craving a dash of humor to lighten up your wedding planning or simply looking for some hearty laughs, then you've landed on the right page. We've collected ten absolutely hilarious quotes from weddings that will brighten your day. Whether it’s a comical slip of the tongue, an insightful nugget, or a quip that's pure comedic gold, weddings never cease to give us these unforgettable moments.

1. "You may kiss the bride… but just this once, okay?!"
   This quote was hilariously delivered by an overprotective little brother during his sister's wedding ceremony. Sure, he may not fully understand the concept of marriage, but it was a wholesome moment that had everyone in fits of laughter.

2. "In the immortal words of my uncle: Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade."
   This quote, delivered by a cheeky best man, left the entire wedding party laughing uproariously and nodding in faux agreement. Rest assured, he followed up by assuring the newlyweds that they were the exception to his uncle's rule.

3. "Do you, Dave, take Linda to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in WiFi and in no WiFi?"
   This modern twist to the traditional vows by an Internet-addicted groom had everyone rolling in the aisles.

4. "I don’t see marriage as a trap, I see it more like a mousetrap. It’s out in the open, you know exactly what it is, but you’re going to go for the cheese anyway."
   This quote from a bride with a wicked sense of humor had the audience splitting their sides. She certainly knows how to keep it real!

5. "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now update your Facebook status."
   When a priest decides to keep up with the times, you get this gem of a quote that has the whole congregation giggling.

6. "We are gathered here today… largely because the church is air-conditioned."
   During a sweltering summer wedding, the bride's father kicked off his speech with this line, cooling the room down with a wave of laughter.

7. "Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park!"
   Delivered by a bridesmaid who's seen one too many dinosaur-themed blockbusters, this hilarious quote resonates with the thrill and unpredictability of married life.

8. "Remember, love is all you need… But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."
   The groom's sweet-toothed mother offered this sage advice during her toast, earning chuckles and nods of approval from everyone.

9. "Darling, I promise to love you even when you refuse to let me control the remote."
   This vow, taken by a television-loving bride, became an instant classic, and sent the audience into peals of laughter.

10. "They say marriages are made in heaven. But so is thunder and lightning."
    Delivered by a groom with a penchant for dramatics, this quote ended his speech on a high note, leaving everyone in hysterics.

Every wedding is unique and is a treasure trove of funny, heartwarming, and sometimes embarrassing quotes that we can't help but love. So here's to more laughter, more love, and a whole lot more memorable quotes at weddings.

After all, as someone once said, "Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them".